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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Cougar Town-Manila chapter

From the Manila Bulletin column : Gossip Girl

By GISELLE SANCHEZ
May 24, 2010, 2:33pm

Zen Institute endorsers: Cougars Eula Valdez, Cory Quirino, Nikki Jimenez, Dra. Mary Jane Valdecanas of Zen, and cougar prey Victor Aliwalas.
Zen Institute endorsers: Cougars Eula Valdez, Cory Quirino, Nikki Jimenez, Dra. Mary Jane Valdecanas of Zen, and cougar prey Victor Aliwalas.

The urban dictionary defines a cougar as a female, usually 35 years old and above, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men. Hollywood has a number of gorgeous cougars in the likes of Demi Moore, Madonna, Sharon Stone, and Elizabeth Hurley, who are all dating men 10 to 20 years younger than them.

Manila has it’s share of cougars and preys, and most of them attended the opening of the Zen Institute Medical Spa in Hotel Sofitel. Eula Valdez leads the pack of cougars because, at age 42, she was still able to snag 29-year-old hunky actor Rocky Salumbides, who swears to the media that he is willing to take care of Eula’s two children.

Well, if I were Rocky, I would do the same because Eula actually looks better than some women in their twenties, thanks to Doctor Mary Jane Valdecanas. Eula’s body is fit with no flab courtesy of the Resonax machine that “potential” cougar Cory Quirino uses in Zen as well. I call Cory a “potential” cougar because she admits that, at her age, she still has suitors who “are in their twenties.” We’re talking about Cory Quirino here who is…ageless.

The cougar’s prey

I was able to talk to 24-year-old Victor Aliwalas who also attended the Zen Institute launch at Hotel Sofitel, and I felt that he was very elusive to my question if it was true that he was dating ex-wife of Willie Revillame, Liz Almoro, who is ten years older than him. Victor answered very awkwardly, “I would appreciate if you would not write anything about me and Liz because we are really just friends.”

Why so elusive, Victor? Are you ashamed of dating cougars? You should be proud of dating a cougar because true cougars are classy, beautiful creatures who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, usually with expensive cars and homes, and are real head turners. Younger men seek cougars who don’t have to sneak up and attack...they know their younger mates are eager to get an experienced woman who won’t ask if they’ll call them the next day. Being a cougar is a positive thing.

Almost a prey to Gossip Girl

If I was not happily married, I’d probably be a cougar as well. Little boys do boost your ego at times. I remember hosting a show for TFC (The Filipino Channel, the counterpart of ABS-CBN in other countries) and 22-year-old actor Tom Rodriguez approached me. Tom was discovered in Pinoy Big Brother and is now Angelika Panganiban’s leading man in “Here Comes the Bride,’’ which is still showing up to now.” This was the scenario:

Tom: So sorry to stare at you, Miss Giselle, but I’m just star-struck.

Giselle: (I’m looking at his rumored girlfriend Princess who was giving me and Tom the dagger look) I’m sorry. Have we met?

Tom: I’m Tom. I’m in Pinoy Big Brother. I used to watch you when I was a kid in your noontime show and your dating game show. You still look as young and beautiful as you did before.

Giselle: (To herself – “Hmmmm, possible prey if I was not married… pwede…”) So Tom, are you a fan of my comedy or did you become taller when you were a kid looking at my bikini posters?

Tom: Both, hehe. You really look good up to now.

Giselle: I think you should go back to Princess because if looks would kill, I’m dead by now. Besides, my gay friends are screaming “cougar” and it’s really quite embarrassing.

I had to review if I was already cougar quality. I’m still in the denial stage and this middle-age Gossip Girl still thinks she’s forever 21. Let me review my checklist on what it takes to be a cougar. Hollywood actor Neil Patrick Harris describes a cougar in his TV sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” in three key characteristics:

The hair – the cougar keeps up with the current hairstyles as a form of camouflage, the prey may not realize that he already engaged a cougar until he is already being dragged, helpless back to her lair; the blouse – the cougar displays maximum cleavage exposure to captivate their prey. If you’re watching them pounce, she’s about to pounce; the claws – to ward off rival females and open alimony checks.

AAAAAAAA! I am cougar quality!

Message to all cougars: Goodbye dentures!

To all cougars using dentures: Say goodbye to them because Dr. Lizette Rivas together with her partners Dr. Jun Mariano and Dr. Crysoine Marquez, Lorna Kalaw and Mike Dalumpines recently opened the Dental Implant Osseointegration Center in the De los Santos-STI Megaclinic at the 5th floor in Megamall. Your dentures and fix bridges can now be replaced with dental implants that are permanent. No more embarrassing moments when your 20-year-old boytoy finishes a glass of water and ends up puking because he finally sees your dentures inside his glass of water after drinking the last drop.

Dental implants provide the longest lasting solution to missing teeth. They are safe and give you natural looking teeth and confidence to eat and smile. And the best part, dental implants are safe, permanent and non-detachable much like a typical cougar’s breast implant, gore-tex nose implant and hair implants. The cougar and her implants are inseparable. You may email lizette_rivas@hotmail.com if you have more questions on dental implants.

Email your comments and first-hand experiences with the stars at gossipgirlgiselle@gmail.com.

1 comment:

  1. nails


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